Grief - A Gift of Healing
One of the biggest takeaways from reading Ray Leight’s “Creating a New Normal” in 2020 was this...the reason loss is often so hard to process is because it was never meant to be something we were created to experience. It is a result of living this side of heaven.
Grief is a gift that has been given to us, to process through loss even when we cannot make any sense.
I have come face to face with my own losses recently. As many attest, loss is rarely something one is prepared for. As I have been going through my own grief process, there are several things that have become clear to me. Grief is an uninvited invader, and yet it holds a key of healing. If we will welcome grief, and most importantly become aware of and admit our emotional process, we will heal and move through into a new season. Sure it will not look like we had previously envisioned or imagined, but our heart will emerge more secure in our identity, and aware of gifts, we have yet to explore.
Grief is an invitation to process and move through pain towards a new season.
Processing grief is about:
Admitting the ache.
Releasing pain.
Cultivating self compassion.
Grappling with change.
Naming our place.
Coming home to ourselves.
Discovering hope.
Sometimes grief lies dormant until our hearts are safe enough to feel. This often happens when we are in survival mode. Grief is exposed through change, uncertainty, and transition. We may think that we have moved through or gotten over someone or something, then a moment hits us, and we are swung back around into an emotional whirlwind of memories marked by grief.
Grief is an emotional process and cannot be intellectually resolved. It is about engaging with the hurts and releasing them.
There was a moment this last year where I was overwhelmed with a memory of someone who had impacted me deeply, who had passed away. I was flooded with memories of a conversation we had before my family and I moved to California. During the flashback I was enveloped in sadness and wished somehow I had done more. I have found time and time again that the best way for me to process through overwhelming emotions is to take them to Jesus. So there, sobbing, I told Him exactly how I felt, how what she had said impacted me, my sadness, of the grief. And in that moment He came and spoke peace. I can’t recall exactly what He said to me. But He comforted me with how He had met her, and I was able to move through that painful memory. Today my conversation with her is a memory that I carry, yet the sting of pain it once held is no longer there. Grief is the process of facing our pain, and moving through the process to release it. The pain of loss, trauma, emotional wounds, needs to be processed emotionally. Grief is an emotional process and cannot be intellectually resolved. It is about engaging with the hurts and releasing them. It can feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, and everyone’s process is a little bit different, yet so very important.
Grief is a gift of healing. This last year we witnessed the uncovering of much grief connected to racial inequality and injustice. Societal grief is healed through collective rituals of acknowledgment and release. It is about moving through, not pushing through. It is about presence. It is about acknowledging wrong where wrong has been done and seeking reconciliation. It is a heart change that affects societal and cultural norms creating something new.
Grief is a gift, a process that is meant to heal and show us something new.
Grief is a process. You may be going through a season when you need someone to walk with you, to normalize your process, and help carry some of the weight you are experiencing. You are not alone. Telling our stories is one of the ways we move through our grief. If you are walking through grief, I would be honored to come alongside and walk with you. Contact Shelter and Rain to find out more about scheduling your own inner healing mentoring session. Your process and story is worth it. There are new things ahead.